Questioning dentistry

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Most people have their teeth cleaned and examined twice a year. That was pretty much my routine, but then my dentist started scheduling me for quarterly appointments. I asked him why, and he said patients with deep pockets need to come in four times a year. I thought he was talking about my gums.

Before my last appointment, I was asked to fill out a form so they could update my information. There were 50 statements and I was asked to indicate those that addressed a dental concern I had. I checked off all of them because I have found that with my regular physician, the more things he thinks I suffer from, the easier it is to get an appointment when I’m sick.

In addition, I always put in snide comments next to the questions. That’s why the staff doesn’t keep me in the waiting room too long. They’re afraid I might talk about my visit in my newspaper column. These are actual statements from the dental questionnaire:

_X___I have cavities and broken fillings

I have no idea if I do. Isn’t it your job to know this? Hey, I don’t have a shiny metal instrument with a tiny mirror on the end of it.

__X__ My teeth are moving

And I’m going with them. Do you know a good dentist in Boca I can recommend to them?

_X___ I snore when I sleep at night

Oh, yes. A dozen people told me that last week.

__X__I need help flossing

I could use some assistance. But be sure that Cyndi the hygienist is over no later than midnight. I fall asleep after Letterman’s monologue.

__X__I don’t like the shape of my teeth

What are my options here? Is octagon available? I’m very New Age.

__X__I need information on how to prevent cavities

Yes, I’m a total moron. Is daily exercise the key? How about cutting back on fuel consumption? Give me a hint, please.

__X___ My teeth seem short

They reach my food. The bottoms and the tops can touch. I don’t think it’s fair to expect much more than that from my teeth when it comes to length.

__X___I have one of the following: Obesity, Diabetes, Hypertension, Stroke, Heart Disease, Erectile Dysfunction

Okay, if I have to pick just one, I’ll say hypertension. But I have to ask, what do teeth have to do with…never mind.

__X__ My teeth are sensitive to stress

That’s why this is the last question I’m answering.

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1 Comment

  1. Nancy Halsema on

    Useful information in this blog, like this one must be maintained so I’ll put this one on my bookmark list of Carmel Dentistry. Thanks for this wonderful post and hoping to post more of this. Same information also available on http://www.drnancyhalsema.com/

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