Extolling Another Miracle Cure

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Back in the days of our grandfathers, migrant salesmen wandered from town to town claiming to have the long sought-after secret of life.

These smooth talking, mysterious and exciting men offered, for the bargain basement price of only two dollars, a bottle of magic elixir known as Dr. Goode’s Miraculous Snake Oil. It was guaranteed to cure everything from gout to warts, arthritis to biliousness and baldness.

Sadly, it was just alcohol and flavoring. It cured nothing, but folks bought it by the gallon. Usually they realized their folly only after Dr. Goode was long gone and all they had for their investment was an exploding headache.

Proctor & Gamble, the purveyors of more household products than any other company on earth, have long extolled the virtues of Bounce dryer sheets for reducing static cling and giving clothes a fresh smell. This it does exceedingly well.

Now someone – not necessarily from P&G – has examined this simple dryer sheet and found a myriad of other uses for it. Some of these I know work, others I’ve only just now heard about.

The claim is that Bounce will:

  • Repel ants and mice.
  • Remove the odor from old books and photo albums.
  • Keep mosquitoes away.
  • Dissolve soap scum from shower doors.
  • Work as an air freshener in your closet and your car.
  • Clean baked-on foods from cooking pans. Soak overnight with a sheet.
  • Collect cat hair.
  • Clean up sawdust from work areas.
  • Deodorize sneakers. Put a sheet in the shoes overnight.
  • Keep sleeping bags and tents fresh in storage.
  • Repel bees and yellow jackets on the golf course. Keep a sheet in your pocket.
  • Clean bugs from your windshield. Wet the glass and wipe with Bounce.

Will Bounce really do all of this? Maybe.

But even if it doesn’t, you probably won’t have a headache in the morning.

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