Unfortunately, many once-close families lose touch with extended members due to a feud between kith and kin. Gaps are created in the solidarity of the line when such things happen. Cousins grow up never knowing one another. Gatherings are marred by the absence of those who should be there. Loved ones die never seeing a resolution to long-term battles over insignificant events.
The repercussions of such situations can extend for generations to come – all because someone felt slighted or short-changed. In reality, the ones who suffer for all this animosity are the ones who miss out on the connections that are left hanging when one branch of the tree cuts of another.
As the holidays approach, these sad scenarios are even more highlighted as families gather, minus those who feel they cannot – or simply will not – join in. So, with the end of the Mayan calendar approaching soon and all, why not choose now as the time for healing a familial rift?
A simple Internet search for “mending a family dispute” brings many suggestions for the how of ending an ongoing feudal dispute. Some of the best advice comes from none other than Dr. Phil, who offers the following:
- · Choose to forgive. Holding onto a grudge will only eat you up inside and cause huge family rifts. The only thing worse than not speaking to a family member for three years is not speaking to them for three years and one day.
- · Sometimes relationships need a hero. That means someone has to step up and be the bigger person to close the gap. Someone has to make the first move, the first compromise, to heal the relationship. Swallow your pride and be that person.
- · Think of how this feud is affecting the rest of the family. Are there other family members or children caught in the middle? Think of the unnecessary stress you may be putting on others.
I say, give the gift that matters most – peace in the family. It is the gift that keeps on giving for generations to come.