Last Wednesday night, at 10:43 p.m., I realized I was missing the following items:
1. My garage door opener
2. My keys
3. Christmas presents for my wife
This is the most lost I’ve ever had. Wait, that doesn’t sound right. How about: This is the most that I have ever had lost. Good enough.
I usually post a list on my refrigerator of the things in my life that are presently missing. Then I check each one off as I find it. This gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I am one of the world’s biggest losers, but once I admitted to myself what a loser I was, I knew I had truly found myself – one of the few things, by the way, not lost at 10:43 p.m. last Wednesday night.
The garage door opener: The way I get into my house from the car is through the garage. And, I’d have no reason to bring the garage door opener with me when I got out of the car. Ergo (whatever, that means), the garage door opener must still have been in the car. I raced out to the garage, threw open the doors to my SUV and scoured every inch. I never found it, but at least I know the opener has to be in the car. So it’s not lost. I crossed “garage door opener” off my list.
My car keys: I looked for my car keys for two hours. I couldn’t find them. I then applied a similar logic to that of the missing garage door opener. First, I observed that I was home. I further noted that just the day before, I was somewhere else. Then, I did that ergo thing again and realized that the only way to get from where I was to my house was in my car. Once again, a great weight was lifted (I wish it had been the garage door), and I knew my car keys had to be in the house. I crossed keys off my list.
Christmas presents for my wife: I shopped early this holiday season and then hid everything. Now I can’t find the gifts I bought her back in November. I did find the watch and the fuzzy slippers I stashed in the back of my closet, but those were her gifts from last year. I always buy her the exact items she wants, but it looks like this Christmas I’m a year behind. Maybe I’m just losing it.