The flu has hit our house, and hit it hard. I left for work this morning with victims two and three moaning on the couch running temperatures of 102 and 103, feebly sipping juice boxes for comfort. Patient Zero has made a full recovery, but I’m certain our remaining daughter will succumb shortly, followed inevitably by my husband Doo. Will I get it too?  After all, this is the first year in more than ten that I did not get vaccinated. The only thing keeping the worry at bay is knowing that Doo has to deal with it all, not me!

Is that bad? Is it wrong that I took a tiny bit of joy literally washing my hands clean of the whole germy affair this morning? Are the Fates ready to punish me with the flu-to-end-all-flu’s because I’d rather spend time at the office? Perhaps, but I like control. I need control. At work, everything is neat and orderly, and I’m only in charge of myself. This is so not the case at our house, especially when said house has become an infirmary. Any mom can attest to this fact: Staying at home with healthy kids is tough, but throw in worrisome coughing, snotty noses, and multiple wake-up calls throughout the night, and the days become downright torturous.

Now that Doo works from home, he’s the one who must deal with the hell of flu season, though he has a much better sense of humor about it than I ever did. His latest email reads <Captain’s Log: 2012> The infected are everywhere! I have attempted to barricade myself in my living quarters but my need for sustenance continually drives me to the commissary where I am forced to engage the zombie hordes. Eyes red and puffy, pale chalky skin, and a blank stare that haunts my dreams. A subtle but continuous moan escaping their lips “daaaaaadddd….DAAADDDD.” There is nowhere left to run … no one left to call … and they just keep coming!

So yes, while I felt sorry for my sick kiddo’s this morning, I was elated that I didn’t have to stay and care for them. While I do experience a twinge of guilt when my youngest cries out, delirious with fever, ‘You weren’t here to hug me!’ I can honestly say I’m a better mom now that I’m able to part with some of my motherhood duties. I’ll gladly suffer the flu for that opportunity. Peace out.