When I was a kid, my uncle used to brag about his daily athletic regimen. “I start my exercise routine by lifting a five-pound potato sack over my head, then I go to a 10-pound potato sack. And finally a 25-pound potato sack. After that, I try putting a few potatoes in each bag.” I thought of that joke the other day when I saw this article on the Internet:
THE FOUR MOST OVERRATED EXERCISES
TIRE FLIP: Yes, this is a real exercise – perfect if you are prepping for this actual athletic competition or are thinking about pilfering a better set of wheels off a luxury car. All you need is a giant tire, like from a John Deere tractor. Then you just keep flipping the tire over and over until you crash through your garage door or the picket fence around your house. “Most folks shouldn’t attempt this,” concludes the writer. I have a theory: if you fall into the “folks” category, you probably aren’t doing much heavy lifting, anyway.
SQUATS: There is a very complicated analysis about why this type of exercise can be detrimental. The writer explains why the chair squat, the barbell squat and the power squat can ruin your lower back. I was impressed with his exhaustive examination of the issue. In my career, I have read many experts’ opinions on every conceivable topic, but this guy is the first one who knows squat.
THE TRICEP KICKBACK: I forgot where my triceps were, but apparently there are three of them, which confused me because the parts of my body that have any real value to me are either one-of-a-kinds or they come in matching pairs. I like the sound of kickback because I imagine an exercise where a good ole La-Z-Boy recliner plays an essential role.
THE SEATED ADDUCTION: “Beware,” notes the writer, “it is dangerous to pull your arm into a shoulder extension and then sustain an isometric contraction in your latissimus dorsi and your posterior deltoid.” If this sounds familiar, it’s because the federal government is now requiring that this warning be on the box of every Twister game sold in toy stores. But there’s more concern by the author: “Having tight adductors will lead to weak glutes and a feeble butt, which will lead to sprained ankles and result in knee problems.” Republicans also think it will lead to higher taxes and fewer jobs, and Democrats think that with a condition like that, it’s harder to kick the can down the road.