Just took a little inventory of the cupboard and noticed I am what you might call long on cereal. As in there are about nine boxes in there.
And most of them, I must admit, are of the highly irresponsible variety, sugar-frosted this and honey-nut that. I even have a box of Froot Loops in there, seeing as how I am exceeding fond of the flavor known as Froot.
Yes. I admit it. When it comes to cereal I have the tastes of an eight-year-old.
I mean, here I am at an age where my doctors — and when you get past age 50, it’s always doctors, plural — would like me to be eating oatmeal three times a day and what am I sitting down to in the morning? Sugar-encrusted particle board chips. Also known as diabetes, high cholesterol and heart attacks in a bowl. What can I say? They’re magically delicious.
Not only that, I still buy cereal for the prize inside. Now, I actually have a pretty good reason for that: I collect cereal prizes, and have for decades. I have tons of them, going back to the 1950s and some Roy Rogers premiums from Grape-Nuts Flakes. I probably have the world’s premier collection of baking soda submarines (which, incidentally, never work) and plastic spoons shaped like cartoon characters.
I drink a certain brand of tea for the same reason — you get a little ceramic figure in every big box of Red Rose tea bags. I have enough of those little things to start my own knick-knack shop. And if Cracker Jack still put decent prizes in the box I’d be eating that, too.
But back to the cereal. I obviously don’t see anything wrong with a grown man — notice I did not say adult — sitting down to a big bowl of Apple Jacks in the morning.
I figure it like this: At that hour of the day, you have no idea what awaits you. It may be a good, but there’s a very good likelihood that you will have an absolutely rotten day. That being the case, you might as well start the way with something you enjoy, something a little fun, and mostly something that takes off a little of the pressure that comes with being a grown — again, notice I did not say adult — person.
Granted, your physicians may not see it that way. As I mentioned, mine certainly don’t. But if they had their way I’d weigh 150 lbs. and look like a fencepost with ears and would run, RUN, when someone even mentioned the words “Cocoa Krispies.” And I have never run from Cocoa Krispies.
My problem is storage. I only have so much room in the pantry for cereal and I’m afraid I’ve exceeded my limit. Maybe I ought to start buying those little variety-pack boxes. My Grandma Redmond used to keep those on hand when we kids went to visit and we always liked them, although I found the serving size to be a little skimpy. I was a big cereal eater, even as a kid.
Oh, well. That’s a problem to sort out another day. For today, the only question I have to deal with is what to have for breakfast, and you know what?
Poached eggs sound kind of good.
