Commentary by Dick Wolfsie

What has happened to the art of sitting? People nowadays don’t just sit, but they have to be involved in some activity like emailing, blogging, tweeting, reading or watching TV.

When I was a kid, people in my neighborhood sat on their front porch. Of course, this was New York, so they were probably protecting their valuables or waiting for the police to arrive. But they were sitting, nonetheless. You do see people sitting outside a doctor’s office. But these people are waiting. Big difference.

We need to recognize the historical significance of this leisurely activity. For it is in this repose that the truly lazy people of the world have made their impact. Do you think it was hard-working stiffs who came up with the idea for the backhoe, the chainsaw and the snow blower? Heavens no! It was the sluggish and the indolent solving the world’s problems while completely at rest. Cracker Barrel has the potential to bring back sitting as an art form. They have nifty front porches chock-full of sturdy rocking chairs. This is sit waiting to happen.

Part of the charm of sitting is publicly displaying that you have the time and the inclination to just park your rear end in a chair. You can’t flaunt this in private. It is fun to sit on your front step and gaze into space with a slight smirk. Soon there is immediate neighborhood speculation about an unexpected inheritance or a hot lottery ticket stashed in your sock, or spicy rumors about you and the new UPS driver.

Sometimes to relax, I just go and sit in my driveway in an old beach chair and wait for my wife to get home. But when my neighbor Charlie sees me, he always grabs a stool from his garage and plants himself next to me. I hate being unfriendly, but lately I’ve mustered up the nerve to tell Charlie I’d rather be alone.

Some people just don’t sit well with me.