Commentary by Danielle Wilson
Heads up, people. Football season is on, and this dance mom has finally wormed her way into an all-guy fantasy league. Do I know what I’m doing? No. Other than Eli Manning, I’ve actually never even heard of anyone on my team. Do I understand when to start a TE over a WR or an RB? Nope, but I know I need to start two to three each week. Am I going to let any of this stop me from dominating a bunch of beer-guzzling man-children? Bells to the no! I recognize the incredible responsibility I now hold as I represent women everywhere. I promise, I will not fail!
Well, I might. One of my quarterbacks already blew his ACL and is out for the season. I somehow drafted three Colts players, which will make establishing a lineup on their bye week a bit challenging. And I truly have little to no knowledge of the strength and weaknesses of the 30-odd teams in the NFL (but at least I didn’t write NHL!).
I do have an awesome name, though, ‘A Girl Has No Name,’ (Game of Thrones fans, you’re welcome!) which is half the battle, and the help of my football-fanatic teenage son, who dutifully scans my lineup every week to make sure I didn’t start a player on a bye week or the defense who’s up against my key offensive minions. I also have the advantages of having adopted the worst team in the league from last year, and of course, of being a girl. There are literally no expectations of me winning anything. I can only impress!
To wit, I’ve already won the Cool Teacher Award from several students, who have quietly nodded their approval after scanning the copy of my roster posted in my classroom. Unpredictably, I also had a student indicate his disappointment at not making what he thought was essentially my Teacher’s Pet List. In his defense, he doesn’t follow football and I did just label it “My Fantasy Team.
So here’s to a victorious football season. For me, and women everywhere! Peace out.