Opinion: Icy relationships

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My sister just returned from a vacation in Iceland. She learned that the biggest issue men have with women in Iceland is not that the ladies are frigid. The men can be a little frosty themselves — but temperature is relative. And the person they meet at the Moose Antler Pub could actually be a relative.

Not a lot of people summer in Iceland, largely because summer lasts about four hours. As a result, swinging singles often end up together not realizing that some of their ancestors were swinging from the same family tree. Most Icelanders hail from a group of ninth-century Viking settlers whose descendants are still on the island, except those who went to Hollywood to make Capital One commercials.

Wedding planners and family reunion organizers compete for the same guests. Online dating services in Iceland try hard to match people who enjoy spectator sports, hunting and moonlight walks, and whenever possible, have different grandparents.

Recently, software engineers produced an app that features a “bump” function. Potential lovers tap phones together to see how closely they are related. If it’s a genetic match, an “incest alarm” sounds. With 22 hours of sunshine each day from May through August, if you are looking for things that go bump in the night, you have less than two hours to make your move on a potential kissin’ cousin.

One user commented he regretted it wasn’t released earlier: “If I had access to this service last year,” he wrote, “I probably wouldn’t have gone home with a relative.” The operative word is “probably,” because pickin’s for eligible women are slim in Reykjavik. Even if this gal shared his love of ice fishing and miniature golf, well, the heck with her DNA.

One resident, Arnar Freyr Adalsteinsson, says he seldom uses the bumping feature: “I just use common sense. Even if the girl is hot, if her name is Gloria Freyr Adalsteinsson, I am going to be a little wary.”

The application is not designed for iPhones; it only works for Androids. I’m no expert on human sexuality, but if you’re an android, it’s probably safe to go home with anybody you want.

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