By Danielle Wilson
If you have the means to hire a manservant, I highly recommend it. In the words of Ferris Bueller, “It is so choice.” See, my husband recently switched jobs and now works from home, enabling him to take on many of my former stay-at-home mom responsibilities. For all intents and purposes, Doo is now Mr. Mom.
At first, I thought his enthusiasm for laundry and dishes and other tedious chores would diminish after a few weeks. Sure he was happily sorting the whites and the darks initially, but I figured he’d have had his fill by the seventh or eighth load and I’d soon be finding mismatched pink athletic socks scattered like bomb debris on the living room floor. But to my surprise, almost two months later, he’s not only hanging in there, he’s actually doing a really good job.
He’s had to call kids in sick, take them to orthodontist appointments, even nurse a child through an oral surgery which claimed seven teeth (and coordinate runs to CVS for the pain meds and Wendy’s for the prescribed post-op Frosty). He’s taken over the after-school carpool for our twins’ music practice, the tedium of bill paying and the mundane decision-making of helping four children get ready for school.
As a working mom, I can’t tell you how much stress and guilt having my husband at home has removed from my daily routine. I can leave in the morning knowing he will be there to handle the preschool chaos, and I can return knowing anything of major importance will have been dealt with. He does disappear into his office for a few hours each night, and I’m still the go-to parent for lunches, scheduling and parties, but the bulk of the homework and dinnertime crapola is now in the surprisingly capable hands of Doo.
And so no one starts feeling sorry for the put-upon man slave, let it be known Doo is enjoying the new setup immensely. He’s using the time previously wasted in frustrating traffic and inane meetings to work out, tackle home-improvement projects and improve his cooking skills. The whole arrangement truly has been a win-win situation for everyone.
Which brings me back to my initial point, which is a manservant can solve all your problems. And if said manservant happens to be free and legally bound to you and your heirs, all the better. Peace out!