There’s a big hole in my Monday Night Social Calendar, now that Dancing With The Stars is over.
Yes, I admit it. I am a member of that little-known group known as Middle-Aged Men Who Have Nothing In Their Backgrounds To Indicate An Affinity For Ballroom Dancing Or Reality Television But Who Love To Watch Dancing With The Stars, or M.A.M.W.H.N.I.T.B.T.I.A.A.F.B.D.O.R.T.B.W.L.T.W.D.W.T.S. for short.
We don’t have meetings, mostly because it takes so long to get the name announced. But I’ll bet we’re actually a pretty large organization. I wouldn’t be surprised if we numbered in the millions. Thousands. Hundreds. OK, most likely there are several dozen of us out there.
I read something online that said a guy who watches DWTS should be ordered to turn in his Man Card, immediately. Real men, it said, don’t watch sissy dancing shows.
I actually think there might be more of us than you’d suspect, for the following reasons:
- It’s competition. We like competitions.
- A lot of the contestants are athletes, and football players seem to do especially well. Donald Driver of the Green Bay Pachyderms won this year, and said he has watched the show from its beginnings. If it doesn’t threaten his masculinity, it certainly can’t threaten ours.
- Some of the women’s costumes are skimpy.
- Occasionally there are one or two contestants who are just so flat-footed awful that we don’t feel so bad about our own lack of dancing ability.
Now, even with all that, there are still going to be some guys who look askance at dance, and I think I know why:
Beer. Or the lack of it. We have sports bars, but until someone opens a Dancing With The Stars bar, where groups of men can drink beer and yell at the TV screen (“Dude! Look at her posture!”) it’s going to be an uphill climb. Or, to put it dance terms … well, I don’t know any dance terms. But it won’t be easy.
First, we have to get over the perception that a real man wouldn’t be interested in a sissypants dance show. Bull.
A real man watches, eats and does whatever he wants, and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.
It says so right on my Man Card.