Opinion: Sounds of violence

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The disorder is called misophonia. Sounds like what you feel when you can’t find your cellular device. So what is it? Well, if you have misophonia, you’re not going to like the sound of this. Actually, you won’t like the sound of almost anything. The malady is characterized by an aversion and sometimes a violent response to certain everyday sounds.

At the misophonia website, many people expressed great relief at discovering that others had this problem, suggesting they were not crazy. That’s like watching a documentary about a woman who eats sawdust like you do and then saying: “See, I’m not so loony, after all.” One man said that he suffered from the disorder way before he knew there was a name for it. This is not so unusual. My mother told me that as an infant I had catastrophic intestinal issues, but I don’t think I ever heard the word diarrhea until I was in the fourth grade.

One woman hated the sound of heavy breathing and when she heard it, she immediately left the room. She signed her post as Chastity, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Another lady said she could not stand the sound of her own chewing. Don’t tell the whole world about this, Madam. Just keep your mouth shut.

The sound of people eating popcorn or crunching on apples drives a lot of people bonkers. One farmer said, and I swear I’m not making this up, that when her husband eats an apple, she has to cover her ears, “but listening to my horse chomp on an apple doesn’t bother me at all.” A newlywed said her husband’s eating disgusts her and she’s thinking of leaving him. What? She’s just now discovering this? Waiting until marriage for intimacy is old-fashioned enough, but waiting for your first meal? What cult is that?

The sounds made by ice cream eaters are also annoying to some people. What with the lip-smacking and the spoon hitting the bottom of the bowl, one woman confessed she was thinking about doing away with her husband, but instead she told him he was lactose intolerant. A senior citizen said when his wife gulps soup, he wants to ring her neck. By the way, ringing is a sound most people hate.

Check out the website Misophonia.com. Are these real people with legitimate concerns? Who knows? Maybe it’s all just hearsay.

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