Opinion: Be calm, stay calm


Life as a working mother of four can be chaotic. Throw in a Lab that still insists on the occasional indoor poo, a slightly ADD husband who hunts, skis and plays in two fantasy football leagues, and a house that is slowly but surely decompensating, and you’ve got a recipe for Crazy Lady Casserole.

As such, I’m hoping to forestall my almost certain stint at Perpetual Peace Sanatorium by finding ways to channel my inner Zen. And not to brag, but I think I’ve actually come up with a decent plan. I’m calling it Be Calm, Stay Calm.

First up in my Serenity Now strategy is yoga. I had to quit geriatric yoga a while back to cart my kids all over God’s creation of central Indiana suburbia, but now, thanks to voodoo magic and the alignment of Jupiter and Mars, my Monday afternoons are nearly wide open. I started again last week, and though I was awkward and stiff and as unbalanced as a newborn giraffe, after one hour I actually felt relaxed. My thoughts weren’t ping-ponging around in my head per usual, and the constant stiffness in my neck had dissipated. Namaste! My first step in remaining institution-free was a resounding success.

Next on the anti-cuckoo agenda is Church. I fell out of the Sunday mass habit over the summer, partially because my spouse isn’t Catholic but mostly because I’m lazy. I soon realized, however, that despite the hassle, I kind of like that weekly dose of ritual and reflection. I don’t always pay attention, and I sometimes leave early, but I do enjoy that hour of sitting with my children and contemplating things greater than myself. Amen! Another notch in the Keep-It-Together belt is claimed!

Finally, on a more practical level, I’ve hired a driver. Sure he’s only had his license for five months and actually wrecked his grandfather’s car four days after acquiring said license, but he’s relatively inexpensive and extremely flexible. Woot-woot! Here’s to outsourcing chauffer services to your oldest son!

So there you have it. My three-part plan for Sane Lady Soufflé. Peace out.