Opinion: Steeled for the SAHM trenches

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I won’t lie. The first few weeks of this madness were rough. Fear, uncertainty and other people’s apocalyptic panic all conspired to put me on the edge. But now that the new normal has settled in, I’m looking at this craziness in a whole new light. Friends, this is my time to shine. As an introverted, ex-stay-at-home mom in my late-40s, I have what Liam Neeson calls “a very particular set of skills.” Let’s explore:

Introvert: I’ve been perfecting social distancing my entire adult life. Large groups of humans drain me to the point that I often create excuses to leave early or not go altogether. So, to have every level of government telling me I am not allowed to leave my house for the near foreseeable future, that’s nutritious and delicious heavenly manna for this introverted soul!

SAHM, a.k.a., stay-at-home mom (ret): Although I’m not thrilled to have been pulled out of retirement, the nine years I spent on active SAH parenting duty are serving me well. With my trusted assistant Cab Ernet, I’m once again brilliantly scheduling, multi-tasking and preventing gang warfare. Momma is back!

Gen-X: A fellow child of the ’70s commented that our generation was essentially born for this crisis. Raised like feral wolves, without supervision, seat belts, or iPhone trackers, we were forced to fend for ourselves in the neighborhood and in the kitchen. No toilet paper, eggs or mall shopping? No problem! Improvisation plus imagination equals survival. Plus, we’re too young to be high-risk boomers and too old to be apathetic millennials/Gen- Z’ers. We’re basically superheroes.

Let us unite, ye introvert SAHMs of Gen-X (separately, of course). It’s our time to shine!

Peace out.


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