Paul Dickson has written 65 books and I’ve read most of them.During his long career, he collected thousands of observations — tiny nuggets of truth — that we can all relate to, and all in a book called, “The Official Rules: 5,427 Laws, Principles, and Axioms to Help You Cope with Crises, Deadlines, Bad Luck, Rude Behavior, Red Tape and Attacks by Inanimate Objects.” Whew! That’s just the title.
I contacted Mr. Dickson last week and asked if I could select a few of my favorite entries to share with my readers. He graciously said, “Be my guest,” so here they are. Enjoy!
- When a man says a game is silly and childish, it’s probably something his wife beat him at.
- The person with the most raffle tickets has the least chance of winning.
- There is no virtue in being consistent, if you are consistently wrong.
- Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- If you don’t say anything, you won’t be called on to repeat it.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.
- If you get a great parking spot, you’ve shown up on the wrong day.
- If you see a cat and a dog eating out of the same bowl, it was the cat’s food.
- Once you finally overcome your fear of public speaking, you will never be asked to speak again.
- When asking directions, the first three people will either: 1: Not speak English, 2: Be stupid, or 3: Be dead wrong.
- Have a lot to get done? Take your nap first.
- Regardless of how much you achieve in your life, the size of your funeral will depend on the weather.
- If you knew what you were doing, you’d be bored.