Opinion: Fathers, teach your sons – carjacking?


Did you hear about the father and son who attended a baseball game and in the fifth inning they rushed the field and beat up the first base coach?

The father said that the first base coach was making obscene gestures. Had these guys never been to a ballgame? That’s what a first base coach is paid to do.

Finger in the air, hand on your butt: Lay down a bunt.

Finger toward your nose, hand between your legs: Take the next pitch.

I was always looking for something to do with my son, so the idea of getting together on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and attacking a coach is an activity that can make the father-son bond even stronger.

It’s tough to find cool things to do with kids nowadays and no dad wants to be called a square, so we shouldn’t come down too hard on this guy — although he had no problem coming down hard on the first base coach.

Maybe this father had been unsuccessful at getting his son to the ballet or symphony. The father’s suggestion to beat up a coach was a last-ditch effort to find some activity the two could enjoy together. Forget video games that instill violence and anti-social behavior. Here are some suggestions:

Father and son carjacking

A car, a dad and his son. What could be more American, more apple pie? And Dad should let Junior drive during the heist, assuming it’s legal for him to be behind the wheel. Letting a boy steal a car without a valid license is, well, setting a bad example.

Father and son lightbulb snatching

What better way to get acquainted on a Saturday afternoon that teaches life skills like sleight of hand, misdirection and concealment? Don’t underestimate the value of petty crimes when it comes to your kids. There’s a lesson around every corner. And on every ceiling.

Father and son shoplifting

A wonderful way to spend a Sunday. Just the guys out at the local Walmart stuffing their pockets and backpacks with loot from the sporting goods department. You can teach your son the value of being a smart consumer and show him how even a run-of-the-mill shoplifter has more take-home pay than the manager at the local Walmart.

Father and son public indecency

What better way to bond with your son than being caught in a public area without your shirt and pants? A boy may forget the week his family took him to Disney but spending a night buck-naked in the slammer with your father is a memory that never fades.

It is so important we give our kids the time they deserve. Fathers deserve time as well. According to the judge, a dad like this is probably looking at three years.


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