Opinion: A bathroom dream come true


Oh, my gosh, people, it’s happening! Our long-awaited bathroom remodel is finally underway, and I. Am. Thrilled! At least when I’m not gagging in disgust. Here’s the skinny.

We’ve been in our house for almost 13 years and have been planning this particular blowout since Day 1. I love our en suite bath. It’s a gorgeous space with lots of natural light, but everything is original to the 1996 build. Picture peachy-beige faux marble, cheap brass fixtures, and the pièce de résistance, wall-to-wall white carpet. Yes, white carpet, or at least what used to be white. It’s more of a dingy gray now, in the one room where water and steam and occasionally bodily fluids roam free. I can’t even identify all the stains anymore, not that I’d want to. Usually, I just keep the lighting down and my eyes up. The sink traps don’t really work, either. I get a nice hit of rotten egg every morning when I go to brush my teeth, and if we don’t leave the door open, I’m generally greeted with the same stench in the evening. So fun!

Anyhoo, my husband Doo recently started demo-ing, confirming our worst fears that the carpet is in fact more than 25 years old. We’d both been hoping that the previous owners had replaced it shortly before we moved in. Alas, if either of us suddenly develop a mysterious illness or become zombies, my money is on some exotic mold spore in the subfloor.

The contractor promises he’ll be finished by May, and I promise to keep you posted on life without access to a nighttime toilet. Woohoo! It’s happening!

Peace out.