Are you at a crossroads and feeling completely paralyzed because you don’t know which direction to take? We can feel stuck and afraid of making the wrong decision. We may feel overwhelmed with anxiety, depression and fear. And some can end up in complete shutdown mode.
Taking no action will lead to feeling more stuck or like you are spinning your wheels. The key is to take some action. There really are no mistakes. I truly believe we can learn from every situation even if we feel like we didn’t make the best choice. If we never “messed up,” how would we grow and learn? We will not always get it right because we are human beings navigating the world.
Below are some helpful steps to help you pick a path.
1. Determine what matters most to you. What do you value? Is it time with your family, flexibility, money, recognition, faith, freedom, authenticity, joy, accountability, etc.? Answering this question will help guide you. If we know our values, then we can see if the choices before us align with these values. If not, it makes the decision clearer.
2. Make a list of pros and cons for each option. Seeing the list written down and going through the process can lead to clarity and release us from feeling powerless and overwhelmed.
3. Identify the fear. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of failing, not being good enough, what other people will think or not living up to expectations? Where is the fear coming from? Is it messages from parents, caregivers, a boss, friend or co-worker? Are they old messages that no longer serve you? If we let fear drive our train, we will never move forward.
4. Give yourself permission not to have the “right” answer. Treat yourself like you would treat your friend. Show yourself compassion. Do you feel better when you beat yourself up and feel worthless? NO! That doesn’t help us make a decision. It’s important we know that whatever decision we make, we will learn something from it.
5. Pick a mantra or theme song. Shift from feeling fear and stress to saying, “I can do this!” What song motivates and lifts you up? I love Enigma’s song “Return to Innocence.” I play it when I need a boost to remember what matters. Pick one that works for you. Sometimes we need to pick a mantra or saying that works for us, such as, “Trust and believe that everything happens exactly the way it is supposed to.” It’s important that you take time to come up with one that really speaks to you. Now, go for it!