Opinion: My favorite veggie tale


Following my knee operation, my doctor informed me I’d developed borderline anemia. I don’t even know how that’s possible. Since the new administration took over, I’m afraid to cross any borders.

My physician suggested I focus on a healthy, high-protein diet, heavy on foods like spinach, hearty cuts of beef and a bowl of Raisin Bran every day. Fortunately, these are already some of my food faves—including the spinach, which I even liked when I was a kid. I remember being skeptical of the television marketing for that vegetable, though. They tried to convince me that eating spinach would help me attract the opposite sex. I was not in the market for anyone who looked like Olive Oyl.

When I was growing up, my grandmother always stressed that carrots were good for our eyes, and her proof was that we never saw dead rabbits on the road.  But opossum corpses were strewn everywhere. “Opossums hate carrots,” my grandmother informed me.That was a pretty good piece of propaganda! I still like carrots and have never been hit by a car. Thanks, Grandma.

Cauliflower: I hated cauliflower. It looked like somebody’s bleached brain. Nowadays, I don’t see cauliflower being served as a side dish much. It’s usually part of a medley. Cauliflower is like a tuba: It works in concert, so to speak. Tubas and cauliflower seldom go it alone.

Broccoli: Apparently, I ate a lot of broccoli when I was young but didn’t know it till I was 18. I knew there was something hidden under that wonderful cheesey sauce, but I was afraid to look until I graduated from high school.

Peas: We never had fresh peas at home. Just canned. I’m not sure anyone in my family knew that peas came from a pod. They looked like ammunition from my BB gun and there was no way I could get them on my fork. The best technique to tackle the issue was to roll up the peas in my mashed potatoes. It looked like a piece of kryptonite.

Would you like to hear what I thought of Brussels sprouts and okra?

Did you say “No thank you”?

You took the words right out of my mouth.