Alright, people. Here’s my plan for surviving the holidays. Feel free to adopt, share or reject outright. I really don’t care.
Because that’s my mantra as I wade through the next few sugar-filled, sleep-depriving, financially and emotionally draining weeks. It won’t be all bad, true. Who doesn’t love a season that embraces 1970s claymation, egg nog and ugly sweaters? But I’ve learned through the years that December can become your worst nightmare if you don’t prepare properly. The key? Don’t get too invested. In anything. You’ll only be setting yourself up for disappointment and alcoholism. So, here you go. You’re welcome.
1. Just say no. “No, I can’t make it to the office party.” “No, I won’t be participating in secret Santa.” And, “No, I’m not driving you, my darling daughter, to ice skating, Yogurtz, Castleton and then to Emily’s.” Borrow from the Mothers-of-Twins handbook: Just say no!
2. Expect the worst. The almighty flu will smite your house, and the 12-foot fir, laden with antique glass ornaments, will topple. If you expect high levels of chaos and stress, you’ll either be well-prepared when it hits or pleasantly surprised that you survived unscathed. Win-win.
3. Schedule “me time.” In this season of gift-giving, don’t forget to love yourself! Take 20 minutes after your fifth Meijer run to play solitaire. Lock yourself in the bathroom for an afternoon of “The Crown.” Have a second cranappletini with your gal pal. You can’t successfully navigate choppy Yuletide waters if your mental compass is perpetually pointing south. Ignore the guilt, recite the mantra and practice self-care.
Good luck, friends. See you on the other side.
Peace out.
