Commentary by Jeff Worrell

A quote often attributed to one of America’s greatest presidents is another easy-to-remember maxim for engaging civility in your daily life. I like to think of Abraham Lincoln and imagine him saying, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” While historical evidence attributing Lincoln to this exact phrasing is elusive, the sentiment reflects his well-documented belief in empathy and understanding.

Lincoln’s leadership was marked by his extraordinary ability to empathize with others, even his political adversaries. He famously assembled a cabinet of rivals, fostering collaboration through mutual respect and a deep understanding of differing perspectives. Lincoln’s approach taught us that contempt can often arise from misunderstanding, and the remedy is to engage and understand those we instinctively dislike.

In today’s polarized world, this lesson in civility is more pertinent than ever. Empathy and open-mindedness are crucial in bridging divides, whether in politics, workplaces or communities. Trying to understand those we disagree with can reduce conflicts and build stronger, more wide-ranging relationships.

Lincoln’s wisdom reminds us that civility starts with a willingness to look beyond our biases and prejudices. It challenges us to engage with others, fostering understanding in place of discord. More than a historical anecdote, it’s a timeless personal development tool that can generate a fresh perspective.