Commentary by JR Sandadi
The events of Sept. 11, 2001, remain deeply ingrained in my memory, not just as a moment of national crisis but also as a time of profound personal loss. I had lived in the United States since 1990, from the deep south to the north, before finally settling in Indianapolis. Over that decade, I had come to see this country as my home. Yet in 2001, two events — one private and the other nationa l —left marks on my life that forever shaped my understanding of grief, resilience and faith.
Just 10 days before the 9/11 attacks, my wife and I experienced the devastating loss of our first child. Our son, Rishabh, was stillborn on our anniversary. It was supposed to be a time of joy, of welcoming new life, but instead, we found ourselves grappling with an unspeakable grief. The dreams we had for our child were shattered in a moment. There are no words to adequately describe the heartbreak of losing him, and I often wonder how we managed to summon the strength to carry on.
On the morning of Sept. 11, my wife and I were attending a follow-up appointment with her physician. As we left the clinic, something felt off, like the air around us had thickened with tension. Walking back to our car, I noticed someone glaring at me. Before I could process what was happening, a man shouted, “You terrorist, go back to your country!” His words were filled with venom and hatred, and for the first time in over a decade of living in the U.S., I felt like a foreigner. We drove home in stunned silence, unaware of the horror unfolding across the country. It wasn’t until we returned to our apartment and saw frantic messages from family and friends that we learned of the attacks.
The year 2001 was marked by both personal and national tragedies, and it felt as though the pain would never end. The loss of our son left a void in our hearts, while the hatred directed at me in the wake of 9/11 created a sense of alienation. The America I had known for over a decade felt different, as the shadow of intolerance seemed to grow. Yet even in that darkness, we found strength — in each other, in our faith and in our community.
Faith played a crucial role in keeping us grounded during those difficult months. Personally, it gave us the space to grieve Rishabh while also helping us find meaning in our pain. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. Our faith reminded us that life, even in its most challenging moments, has a larger purpose. Slowly, the overwhelming grief softened, though it never disappeared. Friends, family and our faith community surrounded us with love, helping us begin to heal.
On a broader level, the community around us also began to heal after the 9/11 attacks. The Hindu values of service and unity became a guiding force for us. In recent years, the observance of 9/11 as a National Day of Service and Remembrance resonates deeply with me. I’ve always believed that service brings people together, transcending boundaries and helping us rebuild. The national response to 9/11 — marked by acts of kindness and unity — became a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. Just as our family found solace in our faith and service to others, so too did the country find hope in coming together during a time of crisis.
This year, on our anniversary, we found ourselves at a Hindu camp during a service project where we painted handbags with messages of peace and solidarity. As we painted words like “Stronger Together” and “Never Forget,” I felt the weight of both personal and collective loss. It was a moment of reflection, a reminder of Rishabh’s memory and the innocent lives lost on 9/11. Through these small acts of service, I felt a connection to a larger mission: combating hate and promoting unity.
Today, 23 years later, we’ve been blessed with two beautiful children who are now thriving in college. The pain of losing Rishabh has softened over time, but the lessons of that year remain with us. Faith, both at the personal level and within our community, gave us the strength to endure unimaginable loss and rebuild our lives. Our journey hasn’t been easy, but it has been a testament to the power of resilience, the bonds of community, and the enduring spirit of love.
In the end, both personal and national tragedies taught us a shared truth: even in the face of profound grief and adversity, the human spirit — grounded in faith and strengthened by service — can triumph. Through acts of kindness, compassion and unity, we continue to honor both the memory of our son and the lives lost on 9/11, reaffirming our commitment to a world that is more compassionate and united against hate.
JR Sandadi is a Carmel resident.
