Facing my problems with Facebook


Are you addicted to Facebook? Do you want to dump your Facebook page and get an actual life, and you need help finding all the places you have to click to make your profile disappear? It’s called the 1,200 Steps Program. You’ll be completely anonymous. Doesn’t that sound attractive for a change?

Now, 45 total strangers are waiting to see if I am going to friend them or quietly ignore them. The other day I noticed stuff had appeared in my profile that I did not put there. In the “I Like” section it said that I was fond of Latex Novelties. Fortunately, my son explained to me that it was the name of a rock group. I’m equally perplexed as to how that got on my page.

The idea behind all this is networking is getting to know people who are connected to other people. For example: I know that Charlene Reynolds and I have 12 mutual friends. The problem is that I don’t know Charlene Reynolds.

Occasionally, a personal survey pops up on my page: “Who would Dick save first if his kayak turned over, his dog or his wife? Do you think Dick wears a hairpiece? Do you have any interest in seeing Dick without any…”

Look, I’m embarrassed just repeating this stuff. Plus, I wasn’t happy with the survey results, although my beagle laughed. I couldn’t get that survey off my page. Whenever I ask someone for help editing Facebook stuff, I always get the same answer: “I don’t know how to do that; you just have to mess around with the settings.”

Now let’s talk about Lauren Rosenberg. On my profile page there’s a bio of her and a nice little ad about her PR firm, in Arizona. I didn’t put her there. I don’t want her there. I don’t even know who she is. But she is obviously very good at PR. I tried for two hours this morning to remove her from my profile. I don’t want my wife seeing this attractive young lady right in the middle of my homepage!

The bottom line here is I really need to remove myself from Facebook. I’m spending too much time with my friends and not nearly enough time with my friends. If you want to convince me to change my mind, I look forward to your input.