One part of ministry I quite enjoy is meeting people for lunch. I have always loved hearing peoples’ stories and pastoral ministry provides an outstanding avenue to do this. Over the years I have noticed that restaurant selections almost always correlate with the age of the person I am meeting for lunch.
Before I go any further, clearly there are exceptions. There are older people who have a predisposition for adventure and 17-year-olds that are curmudgeons. Most often, though, my younger crowd wants to try something new! I will often frequent sushi restaurants, Thai kitchens, and even Indian food with those under 40. Early 40s to mid-50s tend to really love places like McAlister’s and Paradise Café. Those about 60 and older stick to well-known, long established restaurants. A buffet is always a plus.
There was an awesome article I read a couple years ago. The author offered some strong evidence that as the mind ages it literally creates mental pathways that become more and more entrenched as an individual continues to think or act in a certain way. For example, something like brushing your teeth can become second nature after years of doing it. When you miss a morning brush your teeth can “feel” dirty all day even if they technically aren’t.
This bleeds into everything in life. When they replaced a stoplight with a roundabout by the office I was intrigued by the anger it caused. It didn’t “feel” right. I would hear phrases like, “What’s wrong with our city?!” Well, nothing.
Actually all the evidence says that it is now safer. It doesn’t matter what the evidence says though, it still doesn’t “feel” right. It doesn’t matter if sushi is healthier than a Big Mac. Sushi doesn’t “feel” right. The other interesting piece of this study is the necessity to justify our feelings.
We will look for an example that justifies our position and fixate on it even if it clearly isn’t generally right. We will constantly recall the one car wreck at a roundabout, or the friend of a friend who got sick from sushi.
Why does this matter? The journey for truth and what may be best is traded for the comfort of the familiar. So the next time you go to war over something ask yourself is this really wrong or am I just “grooved” this way.