Question: “Dear Grammar Guy, my friend has an obnoxious habit of ‘correcting’ me (and everyone else) anytime I use ‘can’ when he thinks I should use ‘may.’ I’d love a column about this to put him in his place once and for all.”

Answer: Oh boy – we’re going to rustle some jimmies on this one.

We’ve all been there: You ask if you “can” have something, maybe a cookie, and, predictably, you get this response, “You MAY have one.” The “may” is always stressed. We get it.

But, are the sticklers correct? Let’s see what Oxford Dictionaries has to say on the matter:

“There is a widespread view that using ‘can’ to ask for permission is wrong and that it should only be used in expressions to do with ability or capability. But the ‘permission’ use of ‘can’ is not in fact incorrect in standard English.”

Merriam-Webster agrees, saying, “‘Can’ and ‘may’ are most frequently interchangeable in senses denoting possibility … they have also become interchangeable in the sense denoting permission.'”

Booyah.

All that being said, “may” is still the better choice for formal situations and when talking to your by-the-books grandmother. Life pro-tip here: Never argue with your grandma. That’s a lose-lose scenario – specifically, you’ll be losing out on those fresh-baked cookies she just made.