Opinion: Pity the fool


Commentary by Danielle Wilson

When I was a kid, I pitied the fool who wore glasses. [I also saw Rocky III in the theater multiple times and had a semi-crush on Mr. T.] I prayed to every Catholic saint I could think of to spare me the horror of poor eyesight and the stigma that came with having “four eyes.” Later, during my short stint in the Air Force, I again pitied the kid with sub-par vision who had to exchange his contacts for hideous safety-goggles. I thanked baby Jesus that I didn’t have to deal with the added pressure of wearing “birth-control glasses” while trying to climb a 20-foot rope ladder under extreme duress. Then I married a boy with terrible vision, and soon came to see that a guy in glasses is hot, plain and simple. Maybe it was my new-found maturity, but I think it was the world simply becoming more accepting of people in glasses.

So yesterday, when my almost-15-year-old son was given the news that he is a tad bit near-sighted and needs corrective lenses for school and driving, it wasn’t the social death sentence it would have been in 1982 or even 1991. Hooray for progress! And Andrew was thrilled. Sure, he was happy he wouldn’t have to always sit in the front row or continuously squint, but he was just as excited to have an excuse to wear glasses. Imagine that! The ostracizing plastic-and-glass contraptions of my youth have become the essential cool-kid accessory. As the technician helped him try on different frames, he grew more and more confident with his new look. Of course, the gal knew how to help along a sale: “Those really accentuate your jaw line.” “These bring out your hazel eyes.” “Did you recently win a Nobel prize?” Well played, Ossip. Well played. But I have to agree, Andrew is a stud in glasses! No pity necessary.

There’s no real point to this column except to comment on how times change. And to note that I googled Mr. T, and he still looks pretty good, even without glasses. Peace out.