Column: Riddle me this


Can you solve this problem?

Six family members need to be at 27 places throughout the day. There are only three cars, one of which has a broken fuel gauge and no AC. The youngest, who cannot legally drive, and the second son are scheduled to work at noon. The older daughter (OD), who’s had her license for all five days and is highly questionable in even a smidgeon of traffic, has color guard at 10 a.m. but will need lunch at 1:30 p.m.. The first born, owner of the aforementioned janky car and part-time salesman for Cutco, has two appointments with potential knife-buying customers and “thinks” he’s out of gas. The father, whose office is the farthest away, prefers to retain transportation. The mother’s schedule is flexible, but if she’s required to negotiate too many roundabouts in high heat she’ll experience acute nausea (the struggle is real!).

The question is, how does this family survive the summer while staying fully employed and out of therapy?

Such is my daily logistical nightmare. Every morning I consult my calendar and try to determine the best strategy for using our limited vehicular resources. Sometimes, we can rely on grandparents or friends to help, but usually it’s me orchestrating some major mommy magic to get everyone to and from work/practice on time and without sibling in-fighting.

My younger son assures me that within the month he’ll have enough cash to buy his own ride, but that still leaves the rest of the summer for my role as miracle maker. So, if you can solve this problem, contact me immediately. And seriously consider law school. You’d crush the LSAT.

Peace out.