Opinion: Alarmed by outdated clock


I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! Kidding. It’s more like, I’m mildly frustrated and I’m going to write about it.

Last week while adjusting my clocks for the stupid “spring forward,” I renewed a vow to get rid of the time monstrosity that rests on my bedside table. Once the latest and greatest technology of the ’90s, my “alarm clock” is now sorely outdated. Although it includes AM/FM, three wake-up settings and, the pièce de résistance, an honest-to-God CD player, I can no longer justify its presence.

The main problem is that the button to move time forward is broken, so whenever I want to reset the alarm for later, I have to go backward a full 23 hours. And that hurts my fingers, so I just give up and use my phone.

Which begs the question: “Why don’t you always use your phone (idiot)?”

Honestly, there are two reasons. The first is practical: I love the warm ambient glow that lets me know how long I haven’t been sleeping and keeps me from running into the TV on my way to the bathroom. True, my phone could function similarly, but I’d have to navigate the unlocking process without my glasses amid a nocturnal fog, which would somewhat defeat the purpose.

The second, and perhaps more significant, reason is that this clock was a wedding gift that has literally been with me half of my life. One husband, two apartments, three houses, four babies … we’ve experienced a lot of living together. I can’t simply throw her away.

But maybe it’s time.

Peace out.

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