I don’t have many friends. I know that sounds sad, but honestly, outside of family and my co-workers, I don’t have the time or energy to hang with people long enough to develop a close relationship. And that’s why when I get together with one of my few best gal pals, it generally doesn’t matter that we haven’t seen each other for months or even years. We have such a wealth of shared experiences that we can fall right back in to wherever we were when we last met.
Take for instance two women I’ve known since high school. Though we live in different cities now and usually meet only for Christmas coffee, I consider them “best friends.” We grew up together, navigating first boyfriends, rebellious stints and the inevitable drama that runs rampant among teenage girls. It’s easy to be with them now because we understand how and why we became the people we are today.
For me, that’s how I build a friendship, through long-term shared experiences. Like my old neighbor. We lived across from one another for 10 years and basically raised our children in a commune. We dealt with first-time home ownership issues, organized kindergarten carpools and watched our husbands fire golf balls at rooftops after every cul-de-sac chili party. We talk every so often, but I still consider her a close friend.
The point is, I don’t need many friends in my life because I have three really good ones plus great coworkers and family. And frankly, I don’t have time to make new ones. So I’m okay with sounding sad, because I’m actually quite happy.