By Jeff Worrell

Queen Victoria honored a visiting dignitary with a splendid, public banquet. Course after course was delivered to each guest by attentive staff. At the conclusion of the meal, finger bowls filled with water were passed around for the guests to clean their hands. The honored VIP, unfamiliar with the custom, lifted the bowl to his mouth and drank from it.

A hushed, awkward silence fell over the room until Queen Victoria, in a gracious display of empathy and acceptance, raised her own finger bowl to her lips and took a sip. In a touching expression of solidarity, like I trust would happen in Carmel, all of the guests followed suit. Whether steeped in truth or embellished with folklore, this tale helps prompt me about the principles of civility.

There will always be individuals quick to condemn the person who drinks out of the finger bowl. But we must resist the urge to laugh or criticize at the expense of others. This seems to be even more relevant in the lives of today’s children.

I remember my children coming home from school talking about an embarrassing situation when they were laughed at. What if adult modeling of civility became such a way of life that it seeped through the doors of our schools? So that when our children see an embarrassing situation, they will react more like Queen Victoria and not be afraid to pick up the finger bowl and take a sip.